나는 추하고 도덕적인 사람과 아름답고 비도덕적인 사람중에 누굴 더 좋아하는가.
혹은 누굴 더 싫어하느냐.
(쓸모없는 고민인가.)
내면이 더 중요할까 표면이 더 중요할까 아니면 똑같은가.
외면은 내가 만드는게 아니고 내면은 내가 만드는 건가.
그래서 외면은 용서되는가.
어떻게 생각하느냐 하는 문제는 차치하고.
나는 어떻게 행동하고 있을까.
2008년 12월 17일 수요일
그들은 아주 자주 나란하다.
나란히 등장한다. 그게 어떤 쥐어짜는 나의 새로운 마음상태를 만들어 놓는다.
그건 죽도록 전화안받는 CUNY에 전화해서 어느 순간 마침내 누군가가 받았는데
긴장해서 내 할말 제대로 못하는 것보다 더 기분이 나쁠때도 있다.
다행인건. 그래도 어쨌든 옛날처럼 누굴 한번 싫어한다고 다시는 좋아할 수 없다거나
누가 한번 좋다고해서 무지막지한 실망을 하게돼는 어처구니 없는 상태는 아닌 것이
좀 좋다 흐흐흐.
난 누군들 좋아할 수 있는 엄청난 마음을 가질것을 다짐한다.
말도 안돼지만.
하하
게다가 누군들 부담스럽지 않도록 조금만 좋아할 수 있는
능력도 가질 것을 다짐한다.
개소리같지만서도.
하하하
지금쯤 나도 전환을 해야 가든말든 하겠다.
난 요즘 흥미로움을 많이 느낀다. 그냥 이것저것 사소한 것들로부터도.
난 아무것도 없이 돌아오기로 다짐했다.
그게 내 목표다.
뭔가를 남기기 시작하는것이 대체 얼마나 멍청한 짓인가.
나란히 등장한다. 그게 어떤 쥐어짜는 나의 새로운 마음상태를 만들어 놓는다.
그건 죽도록 전화안받는 CUNY에 전화해서 어느 순간 마침내 누군가가 받았는데
긴장해서 내 할말 제대로 못하는 것보다 더 기분이 나쁠때도 있다.
다행인건. 그래도 어쨌든 옛날처럼 누굴 한번 싫어한다고 다시는 좋아할 수 없다거나
누가 한번 좋다고해서 무지막지한 실망을 하게돼는 어처구니 없는 상태는 아닌 것이
좀 좋다 흐흐흐.
난 누군들 좋아할 수 있는 엄청난 마음을 가질것을 다짐한다.
말도 안돼지만.
하하
게다가 누군들 부담스럽지 않도록 조금만 좋아할 수 있는
능력도 가질 것을 다짐한다.
개소리같지만서도.
하하하
지금쯤 나도 전환을 해야 가든말든 하겠다.
난 요즘 흥미로움을 많이 느낀다. 그냥 이것저것 사소한 것들로부터도.
난 아무것도 없이 돌아오기로 다짐했다.
그게 내 목표다.
뭔가를 남기기 시작하는것이 대체 얼마나 멍청한 짓인가.
2008년 12월 9일 화요일
the feeling of good(it's different from happiness although pretty close) is so easily altered to the feeling of "blue"
:not about what i'm going through, more about how vulnerable my feeling is.
what people need while they are living through the hardships and fightings and all the struggle is .. extreme self respect?
today i could clearly see whats going on in her mind. so easy that it feels like just looking through a glass. the only ahrd part was making my mind that i will see whats going on with "C". let's call her "C". always, for me, the hardest part is making a decision whether i am going to love someone or not. that love, actually i'm not sure if it's really love, i mean, if it's okay to call it "love" , but that kind of affection (not to apposite sex) although its a friendship, i feel their all the same. So. it's so difficult to judge whether its ok or not, to love a person. and if i'm gonna begin to know about someone to decide, it's almost impossible to get to know without love. without love, its a pure torture. i don't know, i just don't seem to get the feeling of "pure" curiosity. or interest without affection. i find those things impossible for me. espcially when it comes to a feeling towards people.
clearly, she "does not" hate me. she just can't hate me.
likewise, i can't hate her. if there's so much common between some people, they just
can't find the thing that you can say bad about. But. still . it's hard and difficult.
"C" is a kind that really play with one's instinct. just do whatever she want to at that moment. and. Of course! there I found one big difference. I never (almost) do something with my instinct. at least externally. I try and try to keep it rational. which makes me need so much time alone.
so how are they? are they just doing fine? just like me? am i doing fine?
is it actually possible to know?i don't think so.
what is the problem with me?
i'm just too mmuch within me.
fuck.
almost everything sometimes feel like a bullet towards me.
what is it the way to feel okay with someone. am I not in solitude.
(book is one way)
can i live only with books.
just trying. im just trying. im just trying.
im just trying. im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying, you know.
:not about what i'm going through, more about how vulnerable my feeling is.
what people need while they are living through the hardships and fightings and all the struggle is .. extreme self respect?
today i could clearly see whats going on in her mind. so easy that it feels like just looking through a glass. the only ahrd part was making my mind that i will see whats going on with "C". let's call her "C". always, for me, the hardest part is making a decision whether i am going to love someone or not. that love, actually i'm not sure if it's really love, i mean, if it's okay to call it "love" , but that kind of affection (not to apposite sex) although its a friendship, i feel their all the same. So. it's so difficult to judge whether its ok or not, to love a person. and if i'm gonna begin to know about someone to decide, it's almost impossible to get to know without love. without love, its a pure torture. i don't know, i just don't seem to get the feeling of "pure" curiosity. or interest without affection. i find those things impossible for me. espcially when it comes to a feeling towards people.
clearly, she "does not" hate me. she just can't hate me.
likewise, i can't hate her. if there's so much common between some people, they just
can't find the thing that you can say bad about. But. still . it's hard and difficult.
"C" is a kind that really play with one's instinct. just do whatever she want to at that moment. and. Of course! there I found one big difference. I never (almost) do something with my instinct. at least externally. I try and try to keep it rational. which makes me need so much time alone.
so how are they? are they just doing fine? just like me? am i doing fine?
is it actually possible to know?i don't think so.
what is the problem with me?
i'm just too mmuch within me.
fuck.
almost everything sometimes feel like a bullet towards me.
what is it the way to feel okay with someone. am I not in solitude.
(book is one way)
can i live only with books.
just trying. im just trying. im just trying.
im just trying. im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying im just trying
im just trying, you know.
2008년 12월 3일 수요일
Last night, as part of the ongoing exhibition The Art of Participation, SFMOMA hosted the first in the series of the Tom Marioni salons: The Act of Drinking Beer with Friends Is the Highest Form of Art. Bringing this simple act into a museum setting required the building of a bar (which I am petitioning to keep well-stocked beyond the show) in the Koret Center, ordering twelve cases of Pacifico beer from the local Bevmo, the completion of many pink and green logistics forms, the administration of drink tickets, and the acquiring of a bartender for each night. Last night’s barkeep was Curator of Media Arts, Rudolf Frieling. It was a special occasion, as it is the only time I’ve ever ordered a beer from my boss.
The place filled up quickly with friends and we all drank (with gusto). We were doing it! We were creating art and I could feel it: tiny carbonated bubbles and a general loosening of the seams. The game of quarters was not attempted, but the idea was bandied about. Tom Marioni walked to the podium and gave his address. He was loaded–with jokes. And read with a slight impish nature. A poet appeared on the scene. He had a sign that read “Poems for Sale.” I handed him a dollar. He asked, “What would you like a poem about?” I thought and said “A dark window.” He licked his lips, took a glug from the bottle and began typing on his little typewriter. He finished and handed me a slip of paper with my poem on it. It read:
mac
book
night
dot com
aka wall
Well worth every cent!
The next salon will be Thursday, November 20th at 5pm. Anne Colvin is bartending, Bill Morrison is the guest reader. I hope you can make it.
또해라
나도 가게
The place filled up quickly with friends and we all drank (with gusto). We were doing it! We were creating art and I could feel it: tiny carbonated bubbles and a general loosening of the seams. The game of quarters was not attempted, but the idea was bandied about. Tom Marioni walked to the podium and gave his address. He was loaded–with jokes. And read with a slight impish nature. A poet appeared on the scene. He had a sign that read “Poems for Sale.” I handed him a dollar. He asked, “What would you like a poem about?” I thought and said “A dark window.” He licked his lips, took a glug from the bottle and began typing on his little typewriter. He finished and handed me a slip of paper with my poem on it. It read:
mac
book
night
dot com
aka wall
Well worth every cent!
The next salon will be Thursday, November 20th at 5pm. Anne Colvin is bartending, Bill Morrison is the guest reader. I hope you can make it.
또해라
나도 가게
African Flower (Petite Fleur Africaine)
Afro Blue
Afternoon In Paris
Água De Beber (Water To Drink)
Airegin
Alfie
Alice In Wonderland
All Blues
All By Myself
All Of Me
All Of You
All The Things You Are
Alright, Okay, You Win
Always
Ana Maria
Angel Eyes
Anthropology
Apple Honey
April In Paris
April Joy
Arise, Her Eyes
Armageddon
Au Privave
Autumn In New York
Autumn Leaves
Beautiful Love
Beauty And The Beast
Bessie's Blues
Bewitched
Big Nick
Black Coffee
Black Diamond
Black Narcissus
Black Nile
Black Orpheus
Blue Bossa
Blue In Green
Blue Monk
The Blue Room
Blue Train (Blue Trane)
Blues For Alice
Bluesette
Body And Soul
Boplicity (Be Bop Lives)
Bright Size Life
Broad Way Blues
Broadway
But Beautiful
Butterfly
Byrd Like
C'est Si Bon (It's So Good)
Call Me
Call Me Irresponsible
Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man
Captain Marvel
Central Park West
Ceora
Chega De Saudade (No More Blues)
Chelsea Bells
Chelsea Bridge
Cherokee (Indian Love Song)
Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White
A Child Is Born
Chippie
Chitlins Con Carne
Come Sunday
Como En Vietnam
Con Alma
Conception
Confirmation
Contemplation
Coral
Cotton Tail
Could It Be You
Countdown
Crescent
Crystal Silence
D Natural Blues
Daahoud
Dancing On The Ceiling
Darn That Dream
Day Waves
Days And Nights Waiting
Dear Old Stockholm
Dearly Beloved
Dedicated To You
Deluge
Desafinado
Desert Air
Detour Ahead
Dexterity
Dizzy Atmosphere
Django
Doin' The Pig
Dolores
Dolphin Dance
Domino Biscuit
Don't Blame Me
Don't Get Around Much Anymore
Donna Lee
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Dreamsville
Easter Parade
Easy Living
Easy To Love (You'd Be So Easy To Love)
Ecclusiastics
Eighty One
El Gaucho
Epistrophy
Equinox
Equipoise
E.S.P.
Fall
Falling Grace
Falling In Love With Love
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum
A Fine Romance
500 Miles High
502 Blues
Follow Your Heart
Footprints
For All We Know
For Heaven's Sake
(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
Forest Flower
Four
Four On Six
Freddie Freeloader
Freedom Jazz Dance
Full House
Gee Baby, Ain't I Good To You
Gemini
Giant Steps
The Girl From Ipanema (Garôta De Ipanema)
Gloria's Step
God Bless' The Child
Golden Lady
Good Evening Mr. And Mrs. America
Grand Central
The Green Mountains
Groovin' High
Grow Your Own
Guilty
Gypsy In My Soul
Half Nelson
Have You Met Miss Jones?
Heaven
Heebie Jeebies
Hello, Young Lovers
Here's That Rainy Day
Hot Toddy
House Of Jade
How High The Moon
How Insensitive (Insensatez)
How My Heart Sings
Hullo Bolinas
I Can't Get Started With You
I Can't Give You Anything But Love
I Could Write A Book
I Got It Bad And That Ain't Good
I Let A Song Go Out Of My Heart
I Love Paris
I Love You
I Mean You
I Remember Clifford
I Should Care
I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free
I'll Never Smile Again
I'll Remember April
I'm All Smiles
I'm Beginning To See The Light
I'm Your Pal
Icarus
If You Never Come To Me (Inutil paisagem)
Impressions
In A Mellow Tone
In A Sentimental Mood
In The Mood
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
In Your Quiet Place
The Inch Worm
Indian Lady
Inner Urge
Interplay
The Intrepid Fox
Invitation
Iris
Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't (Ma' Baby)
Isn't It Romantic?
Isotope
Israel
It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)
It's Easy To Remember
Jelly Roll
Jordu
Journey To Recife
Joy Spring
Juju
Jump Monk
June In January
Just One More Chance
Kelo
Lady Bird
Lady Sings The Blues
Lament
Las Vegas Tango
Lazy Bird
Lazy River
Like Someone In Love
Limehouse Blues
Lines And Spaces
Litha
Little Boat
Little Waltz
Long Ago (And Far Away)
Lonnie's Lament
Look To The Sky
Love Is The Sweetest Thing
Lucky Southern
Lullaby Of Birdland
Lush Life
The Magician In You
Mahjong
Maiden Voyage
A Man And A Woman (Un Homme Et Une Femme)
Man In The Green Shirt
Meditation (Meditacao)
Memories Of Tomorrow
Michelle
Midnight Mood
Midwestern Nights Dream
Milano
Minority
Miss Ann
Missouri Uncompromised
Mr. P.C.
Misty
Miyako
Moment's Notice
Mood Indigo
Moonchild
The Most Beautiful Girl In The World
My Buddy
My Favorite Things
My Foolish Heart
My Funny Valentine
My One And Only Love
My Romance
My Shining Hour
My Ship
My Way
Mysterious Traveller
Naima (Niema)
Nardis
Nefertiti
Never Will I Marry
Nica's Dream
Night Dreamer
The Night Has A Thousand Eyes
A Night In Tunisia
Night Train
Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out
Nostalgia In Times Square
Nuages
(Old Man From) The Old Country
Oleo
Oliloqui Valley
Once I Loved (Amor Em Paz) (Love In Peace)
Once In Love With Amy
One Finger Snap
One Note Samba (Samba De Uma Nota So)
Only Trust Your Heart
Orbits
Ornithology
Out Of Nowhere
Paper Doll
Passion Dance
Passion Flower
Peace
Peggy's Blue Skylight
Pent Up House
Penthouse Serenade
Peri's Scope
Pfrancing (No Blues)
Pinocchio
Pithecanthropus Erectus
Portsmouth Figurations
Prelude To A Kiss
Prince Of Darkness
P.S. I Love You
Pussy Cat Dues
Quiet Nights Of Quiet Stars (Corcovado)
Quiet Now
Recorda-Me
Red Clay
Reflections
Reincarnation Of A Lovebird
Ring Dem Bells
Road Song
'Round Midnight
Ruby, My Dear
Poem For #15 (The Saga Of Harrison Crabfeathers)
Satin Doll
Scotch And Soda
Scrapple From The Apple
Sea Journey
Seven Come Eleven
Seven Steps To Heaven
Sidewinder
Silver Hollow
Sirabhorn
Skating In Central Park
So Nice (Summer Samba)
So What
Solar
Solitude
Some Day My Prince Will Come
Some Other Spring
Some Skunk Funk
Somebody Loves Me
Sometime Ago
Song For My Father
The Song Is You
Sophisticated Lady
The Sorcerer
Speak No Evil
The Sphinx
Standing On The Corner
The Star-Crossed Lovers
Stella By Starlight
Steps
Stolen Moments
Stompin' At The Savoy
Straight No Chaser
A String Of Pearls
Stuff
Sugar
A Sunday Kind Of Love
The Surrey With The Fringe On Top
Swedish Pastry
Sweet Georgia Bright
Sweet Henry
Take Five
Take The 'A' Train
Tame Thy Pen
Tell Me A Bedtime Story
Thanks For The Memory
That's Amoré (That's Love)
There Is No Greater Love
There Will Never Be Another You
There'll Be Some Changes Made
They Didn't Believe Me
Think On Me
Thou Swell
Three Flowers
Time Remembered
Tones For Joan's Bones
Topsy
Tour De Force
Triste
Tune Up
Turn Out The Stars
Twisted Blues
Unchain My Heart
Uniquity Road
Unity Village
Up Jumped Spring
Upper Manhattan Medical Group (UMMG)
Valse Hot
Very Early
Virgo
Wait Till You See Her
Waltz For Debby
Wave
We'll Be Together Again
Well You Needn't (It's Over Now)
West Coast Blues
What Am I Here For?
What Was
When I Fall In Love
When Sunny Gets Blue
When You Wish Upon A Star
Whispering
Wild Flower
Windows
Witch Hunt
Wives And Lovers (Hey, Little Girl)
Woodchopper's Ball
Woodyn' You
The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise
Yes And No
Yesterday
Yesterdays
You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
You Are Too Beautiful
You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me
You Don't Know What Love Is
You Took Advantage Of Me
You're Nobody 'til Somebody Loves You
Young At Heart
Afro Blue
Afternoon In Paris
Água De Beber (Water To Drink)
Airegin
Alfie
Alice In Wonderland
All Blues
All By Myself
All Of Me
All Of You
All The Things You Are
Alright, Okay, You Win
Always
Ana Maria
Angel Eyes
Anthropology
Apple Honey
April In Paris
April Joy
Arise, Her Eyes
Armageddon
Au Privave
Autumn In New York
Autumn Leaves
Beautiful Love
Beauty And The Beast
Bessie's Blues
Bewitched
Big Nick
Black Coffee
Black Diamond
Black Narcissus
Black Nile
Black Orpheus
Blue Bossa
Blue In Green
Blue Monk
The Blue Room
Blue Train (Blue Trane)
Blues For Alice
Bluesette
Body And Soul
Boplicity (Be Bop Lives)
Bright Size Life
Broad Way Blues
Broadway
But Beautiful
Butterfly
Byrd Like
C'est Si Bon (It's So Good)
Call Me
Call Me Irresponsible
Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man
Captain Marvel
Central Park West
Ceora
Chega De Saudade (No More Blues)
Chelsea Bells
Chelsea Bridge
Cherokee (Indian Love Song)
Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White
A Child Is Born
Chippie
Chitlins Con Carne
Come Sunday
Como En Vietnam
Con Alma
Conception
Confirmation
Contemplation
Coral
Cotton Tail
Could It Be You
Countdown
Crescent
Crystal Silence
D Natural Blues
Daahoud
Dancing On The Ceiling
Darn That Dream
Day Waves
Days And Nights Waiting
Dear Old Stockholm
Dearly Beloved
Dedicated To You
Deluge
Desafinado
Desert Air
Detour Ahead
Dexterity
Dizzy Atmosphere
Django
Doin' The Pig
Dolores
Dolphin Dance
Domino Biscuit
Don't Blame Me
Don't Get Around Much Anymore
Donna Lee
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Dreamsville
Easter Parade
Easy Living
Easy To Love (You'd Be So Easy To Love)
Ecclusiastics
Eighty One
El Gaucho
Epistrophy
Equinox
Equipoise
E.S.P.
Fall
Falling Grace
Falling In Love With Love
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum
A Fine Romance
500 Miles High
502 Blues
Follow Your Heart
Footprints
For All We Know
For Heaven's Sake
(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons
Forest Flower
Four
Four On Six
Freddie Freeloader
Freedom Jazz Dance
Full House
Gee Baby, Ain't I Good To You
Gemini
Giant Steps
The Girl From Ipanema (Garôta De Ipanema)
Gloria's Step
God Bless' The Child
Golden Lady
Good Evening Mr. And Mrs. America
Grand Central
The Green Mountains
Groovin' High
Grow Your Own
Guilty
Gypsy In My Soul
Half Nelson
Have You Met Miss Jones?
Heaven
Heebie Jeebies
Hello, Young Lovers
Here's That Rainy Day
Hot Toddy
House Of Jade
How High The Moon
How Insensitive (Insensatez)
How My Heart Sings
Hullo Bolinas
I Can't Get Started With You
I Can't Give You Anything But Love
I Could Write A Book
I Got It Bad And That Ain't Good
I Let A Song Go Out Of My Heart
I Love Paris
I Love You
I Mean You
I Remember Clifford
I Should Care
I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free
I'll Never Smile Again
I'll Remember April
I'm All Smiles
I'm Beginning To See The Light
I'm Your Pal
Icarus
If You Never Come To Me (Inutil paisagem)
Impressions
In A Mellow Tone
In A Sentimental Mood
In The Mood
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
In Your Quiet Place
The Inch Worm
Indian Lady
Inner Urge
Interplay
The Intrepid Fox
Invitation
Iris
Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't (Ma' Baby)
Isn't It Romantic?
Isotope
Israel
It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)
It's Easy To Remember
Jelly Roll
Jordu
Journey To Recife
Joy Spring
Juju
Jump Monk
June In January
Just One More Chance
Kelo
Lady Bird
Lady Sings The Blues
Lament
Las Vegas Tango
Lazy Bird
Lazy River
Like Someone In Love
Limehouse Blues
Lines And Spaces
Litha
Little Boat
Little Waltz
Long Ago (And Far Away)
Lonnie's Lament
Look To The Sky
Love Is The Sweetest Thing
Lucky Southern
Lullaby Of Birdland
Lush Life
The Magician In You
Mahjong
Maiden Voyage
A Man And A Woman (Un Homme Et Une Femme)
Man In The Green Shirt
Meditation (Meditacao)
Memories Of Tomorrow
Michelle
Midnight Mood
Midwestern Nights Dream
Milano
Minority
Miss Ann
Missouri Uncompromised
Mr. P.C.
Misty
Miyako
Moment's Notice
Mood Indigo
Moonchild
The Most Beautiful Girl In The World
My Buddy
My Favorite Things
My Foolish Heart
My Funny Valentine
My One And Only Love
My Romance
My Shining Hour
My Ship
My Way
Mysterious Traveller
Naima (Niema)
Nardis
Nefertiti
Never Will I Marry
Nica's Dream
Night Dreamer
The Night Has A Thousand Eyes
A Night In Tunisia
Night Train
Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out
Nostalgia In Times Square
Nuages
(Old Man From) The Old Country
Oleo
Oliloqui Valley
Once I Loved (Amor Em Paz) (Love In Peace)
Once In Love With Amy
One Finger Snap
One Note Samba (Samba De Uma Nota So)
Only Trust Your Heart
Orbits
Ornithology
Out Of Nowhere
Paper Doll
Passion Dance
Passion Flower
Peace
Peggy's Blue Skylight
Pent Up House
Penthouse Serenade
Peri's Scope
Pfrancing (No Blues)
Pinocchio
Pithecanthropus Erectus
Portsmouth Figurations
Prelude To A Kiss
Prince Of Darkness
P.S. I Love You
Pussy Cat Dues
Quiet Nights Of Quiet Stars (Corcovado)
Quiet Now
Recorda-Me
Red Clay
Reflections
Reincarnation Of A Lovebird
Ring Dem Bells
Road Song
'Round Midnight
Ruby, My Dear
Poem For #15 (The Saga Of Harrison Crabfeathers)
Satin Doll
Scotch And Soda
Scrapple From The Apple
Sea Journey
Seven Come Eleven
Seven Steps To Heaven
Sidewinder
Silver Hollow
Sirabhorn
Skating In Central Park
So Nice (Summer Samba)
So What
Solar
Solitude
Some Day My Prince Will Come
Some Other Spring
Some Skunk Funk
Somebody Loves Me
Sometime Ago
Song For My Father
The Song Is You
Sophisticated Lady
The Sorcerer
Speak No Evil
The Sphinx
Standing On The Corner
The Star-Crossed Lovers
Stella By Starlight
Steps
Stolen Moments
Stompin' At The Savoy
Straight No Chaser
A String Of Pearls
Stuff
Sugar
A Sunday Kind Of Love
The Surrey With The Fringe On Top
Swedish Pastry
Sweet Georgia Bright
Sweet Henry
Take Five
Take The 'A' Train
Tame Thy Pen
Tell Me A Bedtime Story
Thanks For The Memory
That's Amoré (That's Love)
There Is No Greater Love
There Will Never Be Another You
There'll Be Some Changes Made
They Didn't Believe Me
Think On Me
Thou Swell
Three Flowers
Time Remembered
Tones For Joan's Bones
Topsy
Tour De Force
Triste
Tune Up
Turn Out The Stars
Twisted Blues
Unchain My Heart
Uniquity Road
Unity Village
Up Jumped Spring
Upper Manhattan Medical Group (UMMG)
Valse Hot
Very Early
Virgo
Wait Till You See Her
Waltz For Debby
Wave
We'll Be Together Again
Well You Needn't (It's Over Now)
West Coast Blues
What Am I Here For?
What Was
When I Fall In Love
When Sunny Gets Blue
When You Wish Upon A Star
Whispering
Wild Flower
Windows
Witch Hunt
Wives And Lovers (Hey, Little Girl)
Woodchopper's Ball
Woodyn' You
The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise
Yes And No
Yesterday
Yesterdays
You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
You Are Too Beautiful
You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me
You Don't Know What Love Is
You Took Advantage Of Me
You're Nobody 'til Somebody Loves You
Young At Heart
2008년 11월 24일 월요일
flapper
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flapper
Flapper
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For other uses, see Flapper (disambiguation).
Actress Louise Brooks, 1927
Actress Louise Brooks, 1927
The term flapper in the 1920s referred to a "new breed" of young women who wore short skirts, bobbed their hair, listened to the new Jazz music, and flaunted their disdain for what was then considered acceptable behavior. The flappers were seen as brash for wearing excessive makeup, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving automobiles, and otherwise flouting conventional social and sexual norms.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 Origins
o 1.1 United States
o 1.2 United Kingdom
* 2 Behavior
* 3 Slang
* 4 Appearance
o 4.1 Cosmetics
o 4.2 Hair and accessories
o 4.3 Apparel
* 5 End of the flapper era
* 6 See also
* 7 Notes
* 8 External links
o 8.1 tags:
[edit] Origins
Actress Alice Joyce, 1926
Actress Alice Joyce, 1926
Flappers had their origins in the period of liberalism, social and political turbulence, and increased transatlantic cultural exchange that followed the end of the First World War, as well as the export of American jazz culture to Europe.
[edit] United States
The first appearance of the word and image in the United States came from the popular 1920 Frances Marion movie, The Flapper, starring Olive Thomas.[1] Thomas had starred in a similar role in 1917 though it was not until The Flapper that the term was used. Her final movies were done in the flapper image.[2] Other actresses would soon build their careers on the same image making them quite popular including Clara Bow, Louise Brooks, and Joan Crawford.[1]
In the United States, popular contempt for Prohibition was a factor. With legal saloons and cabarets closed, back alley speakeasies became prolific and popular. This discrepancy between the law-abiding, religion-based temperance movement and the actual ubiquitous consumption of alcohol led to widespread disdain for authority. Flapper independence may have its origins in the Gibson girls of the 1890s. Although that pre-war look does not resemble the flapper identity, their independence and feminism may have led to the flapper wise-cracking tenacity 30 years later.
Writers and artists in the United States such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Held Jr., and Anita Loos popularized the flapper look and lifestyle through their works, and flappers came to be seen as attractive, reckless and independent. Among those who criticized the flapper craze was writer-critic Dorothy Parker. She penned "Flappers: A Hate Song" to poke fun at the fad.
A related but alternative usage in the late 1920s was a press catch word which referred to adult women voters and how they might vote differently than men their age. While the term flapper had multiple usages, flappers as a social group were well defined from other 1920s fads.
[edit] United Kingdom
The term flapper first appears in an early Sports Illustrated magazine (not the same magazine in print today) in a two-page spread where the flapper spread her legs. It may be in reference to a young bird flapping its wings while learning to fly, or it may derive from an earlier use in northern England of flapper to mean "teenage girl" (whose hair is not yet put up), or "prostitute".[3]
While many in the United States assumed at the time that the term flapper derived from a fashion of women wearing galoshes unbuckled so that they could show people their bodies as they walked, the term was already documented as in use in the United Kingdom as early as 1912. From the 1910s into the 1920s, flapper was a term for any impetuous teenage girl, often including women under 30. Only in the 1920s did the term take on the meaning of the flapper generation style and attitudes, while people continued to use the word to mean immature.
[edit] Behavior
Flappers went to jazz clubs at night where they danced provocatively, smoked cigarettes through long holders, sniffed cocaine (which was legal at the time) and dated. They rode bicycles and drove cars. They drank alcohol openly, a defiant act in the American period of Prohibition. Petting became more common than in the Victorian era. Petting Parties, where petting was the main attraction, became popular.
Flappers also began taking work outside the home and challenging a 'woman's place' in society. Voting and women's rights were also practiced.
With time dance styles considered shocking, such as the Charleston, the Shimmy, the Bunny Hug and the Black Bottom were developed.
[edit] Slang
Actress Norma Talmadge, a prototypical flapper
Actress Norma Talmadge, a prototypical flapper
Flappers had their own slang, with terms like "snugglepup" (a man who frequents petting parties) and "barney-mugging" (sex). Their dialect reflected their promiscuity and drinking habits; "I have to go see a man about a dog" often meant going to buy whiskey, and a "handcuff" or "manacle" was an engagement or wedding ring. Also reflective of their preoccupations, they had many ways to say "fantastic", such as "That's so Jake" or "That's the bee's knees," or a more popular one, "the cat's pajamas."
Many terms still in use in modern American English slang originated as flapper slang, such as "big cheese", meaning an important person; "to bump off", meaning to murder; and "baloney", meaning nonsense. Other terms have become definitive of the Prohibition era, such as "speakeasy", meaning an illegal place to get liquor and "hooch”, describing illegal liquor.
[edit] Appearance
In addition to their irreverent behavior flappers were known for their style, which largely emerged as a result of the musical style of jazz and the popularization of dancing that accompanied it. Called garçonne in French ("boy" with a feminine suffix), flapper style made them look young and boyish. Short hair, flattened breasts, and small waists accentuated the look.
Despite all the scandal flappers generated, their look became fashionable in a toned-down form among even respectable older women. Most significantly, the flappers removed the corset from female fashion, raised skirt and gown hemlines and popularized short hair for women. Among the actresses most closely identified with the style were Olive Thomas, Dorothy Mackaill, Alice White, Bebe Daniels, Billie Dove, Helen Kane, Joan Crawford, Leatrice Joy, Norma Shearer, Laura La Plante, Norma Talmadge, Clara Bow, Louise Brooks, and Colleen Moore.
[edit] Cosmetics
Main article: Cosmetics in the 1920s
The flapper look required 'heavy makeup' in comparison to what had been acceptable. Flappers tended to wear 'kiss proof' lipstick. With the invention of the metal lipstick container as well as compact mirrors bee stung lips came into vogue. Dark eyes, especially Kohl-rimmed, were the style. Blush came into vogue now that it was no longer a messy application process.
Originally, pale skin was considered most attractive. However, tanned skin became increasingly popular after Coco Chanel donned a tan after spending too much time in the sun on holiday - it suggested a life of leisure, without the onerous need to work. Woman wanted to look fit, sporty, and, above all, healthy.
[edit] Hair and accessories
Boyish cuts were in vogue especially the Bob cut, Eton crop, and Shingle bob. Hats were still required wear and popular styles included the Newsboy cap and Cloche hat.
Jewelry usually consisted of art deco pieces, especially many layers of beaded necklaces. Pins, rings, and brooches came into style. Horn-rimmed glasses were also popular.
Flappers did away with corsets and pantaloons in favor of "step-in" panties. Without the old restrictive corsets, flappers wore simple bust bodices to make their chest hold still when dancing. They also wore new, softer and suppler corsets that reached to their hips, smoothing the whole frame giving women a straight up and down appearance, as opposed to the old corsets which slenderized the waist and accented the hips and bust. Without the added curves of a corset they promoted their boyish look, and soon early popular bras were sold to flatten and reduce the appearance of the bust.
[edit] Apparel
Main article: 1920s in fashion
Flapper dresses were straight and loose, leaving the arms bare and dropping the waistline to the hips. Silk or rayon stockings were held up by garters. Skirts rose to just below the knee by 1927, allowing flashes of knee to be seen when a girl danced or walked into a breeze, although the way they danced made any long loose skirt flap up to show their knees. Flappers powdered or put rouge on their knees to show them off when dancing.[citation needed] Popular dress styles included the Robe de style. High heels also came into vogue at the time, reaching 2 inches high.
[edit] End of the flapper era
Despite its popularity, the flapper lifestyle and look could not survive the Wall Street Crash and the following Great Depression. The high-spirited attitude and hedonism simply could not find a place amid the economic hardships of the 1930s. More specifically, this decade brought out a conservative reaction and a religious revival which set out to eradicate the liberal lifestyles and fashions of the 1920s. In many ways, however, the self-reliant flapper had allowed the modern woman to make herself an integral and lasting part of the Western World.
[edit] See also
* New Woman
* Cosmetics of the 1920s
* Modern girl
[edit] Notes
1. ^ a b Memories of Olive. assumption.edu.
2. ^ Long, Bruce (editor). Taylorology: A Continuing Exploration of the Life and Death of William Desmond Taylor. Arizona State University.
3. ^ Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. 26 Apr. 2007.
[edit] External links
* Flappers on SilentLadies.com
* The Jazz Age — Flapper Culture (discusses mainly Louise Brooks)
* Slang of the 1920s
* Flappers and fashion
* About.com history
* RolledStockings.com
Flapper
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
For other uses, see Flapper (disambiguation).
Actress Louise Brooks, 1927
Actress Louise Brooks, 1927
The term flapper in the 1920s referred to a "new breed" of young women who wore short skirts, bobbed their hair, listened to the new Jazz music, and flaunted their disdain for what was then considered acceptable behavior. The flappers were seen as brash for wearing excessive makeup, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving automobiles, and otherwise flouting conventional social and sexual norms.
Contents
[hide]
* 1 Origins
o 1.1 United States
o 1.2 United Kingdom
* 2 Behavior
* 3 Slang
* 4 Appearance
o 4.1 Cosmetics
o 4.2 Hair and accessories
o 4.3 Apparel
* 5 End of the flapper era
* 6 See also
* 7 Notes
* 8 External links
o 8.1 tags:
[edit] Origins
Actress Alice Joyce, 1926
Actress Alice Joyce, 1926
Flappers had their origins in the period of liberalism, social and political turbulence, and increased transatlantic cultural exchange that followed the end of the First World War, as well as the export of American jazz culture to Europe.
[edit] United States
The first appearance of the word and image in the United States came from the popular 1920 Frances Marion movie, The Flapper, starring Olive Thomas.[1] Thomas had starred in a similar role in 1917 though it was not until The Flapper that the term was used. Her final movies were done in the flapper image.[2] Other actresses would soon build their careers on the same image making them quite popular including Clara Bow, Louise Brooks, and Joan Crawford.[1]
In the United States, popular contempt for Prohibition was a factor. With legal saloons and cabarets closed, back alley speakeasies became prolific and popular. This discrepancy between the law-abiding, religion-based temperance movement and the actual ubiquitous consumption of alcohol led to widespread disdain for authority. Flapper independence may have its origins in the Gibson girls of the 1890s. Although that pre-war look does not resemble the flapper identity, their independence and feminism may have led to the flapper wise-cracking tenacity 30 years later.
Writers and artists in the United States such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Held Jr., and Anita Loos popularized the flapper look and lifestyle through their works, and flappers came to be seen as attractive, reckless and independent. Among those who criticized the flapper craze was writer-critic Dorothy Parker. She penned "Flappers: A Hate Song" to poke fun at the fad.
A related but alternative usage in the late 1920s was a press catch word which referred to adult women voters and how they might vote differently than men their age. While the term flapper had multiple usages, flappers as a social group were well defined from other 1920s fads.
[edit] United Kingdom
The term flapper first appears in an early Sports Illustrated magazine (not the same magazine in print today) in a two-page spread where the flapper spread her legs. It may be in reference to a young bird flapping its wings while learning to fly, or it may derive from an earlier use in northern England of flapper to mean "teenage girl" (whose hair is not yet put up), or "prostitute".[3]
While many in the United States assumed at the time that the term flapper derived from a fashion of women wearing galoshes unbuckled so that they could show people their bodies as they walked, the term was already documented as in use in the United Kingdom as early as 1912. From the 1910s into the 1920s, flapper was a term for any impetuous teenage girl, often including women under 30. Only in the 1920s did the term take on the meaning of the flapper generation style and attitudes, while people continued to use the word to mean immature.
[edit] Behavior
Flappers went to jazz clubs at night where they danced provocatively, smoked cigarettes through long holders, sniffed cocaine (which was legal at the time) and dated. They rode bicycles and drove cars. They drank alcohol openly, a defiant act in the American period of Prohibition. Petting became more common than in the Victorian era. Petting Parties, where petting was the main attraction, became popular.
Flappers also began taking work outside the home and challenging a 'woman's place' in society. Voting and women's rights were also practiced.
With time dance styles considered shocking, such as the Charleston, the Shimmy, the Bunny Hug and the Black Bottom were developed.
[edit] Slang
Actress Norma Talmadge, a prototypical flapper
Actress Norma Talmadge, a prototypical flapper
Flappers had their own slang, with terms like "snugglepup" (a man who frequents petting parties) and "barney-mugging" (sex). Their dialect reflected their promiscuity and drinking habits; "I have to go see a man about a dog" often meant going to buy whiskey, and a "handcuff" or "manacle" was an engagement or wedding ring. Also reflective of their preoccupations, they had many ways to say "fantastic", such as "That's so Jake" or "That's the bee's knees," or a more popular one, "the cat's pajamas."
Many terms still in use in modern American English slang originated as flapper slang, such as "big cheese", meaning an important person; "to bump off", meaning to murder; and "baloney", meaning nonsense. Other terms have become definitive of the Prohibition era, such as "speakeasy", meaning an illegal place to get liquor and "hooch”, describing illegal liquor.
[edit] Appearance
In addition to their irreverent behavior flappers were known for their style, which largely emerged as a result of the musical style of jazz and the popularization of dancing that accompanied it. Called garçonne in French ("boy" with a feminine suffix), flapper style made them look young and boyish. Short hair, flattened breasts, and small waists accentuated the look.
Despite all the scandal flappers generated, their look became fashionable in a toned-down form among even respectable older women. Most significantly, the flappers removed the corset from female fashion, raised skirt and gown hemlines and popularized short hair for women. Among the actresses most closely identified with the style were Olive Thomas, Dorothy Mackaill, Alice White, Bebe Daniels, Billie Dove, Helen Kane, Joan Crawford, Leatrice Joy, Norma Shearer, Laura La Plante, Norma Talmadge, Clara Bow, Louise Brooks, and Colleen Moore.
[edit] Cosmetics
Main article: Cosmetics in the 1920s
The flapper look required 'heavy makeup' in comparison to what had been acceptable. Flappers tended to wear 'kiss proof' lipstick. With the invention of the metal lipstick container as well as compact mirrors bee stung lips came into vogue. Dark eyes, especially Kohl-rimmed, were the style. Blush came into vogue now that it was no longer a messy application process.
Originally, pale skin was considered most attractive. However, tanned skin became increasingly popular after Coco Chanel donned a tan after spending too much time in the sun on holiday - it suggested a life of leisure, without the onerous need to work. Woman wanted to look fit, sporty, and, above all, healthy.
[edit] Hair and accessories
Boyish cuts were in vogue especially the Bob cut, Eton crop, and Shingle bob. Hats were still required wear and popular styles included the Newsboy cap and Cloche hat.
Jewelry usually consisted of art deco pieces, especially many layers of beaded necklaces. Pins, rings, and brooches came into style. Horn-rimmed glasses were also popular.
Flappers did away with corsets and pantaloons in favor of "step-in" panties. Without the old restrictive corsets, flappers wore simple bust bodices to make their chest hold still when dancing. They also wore new, softer and suppler corsets that reached to their hips, smoothing the whole frame giving women a straight up and down appearance, as opposed to the old corsets which slenderized the waist and accented the hips and bust. Without the added curves of a corset they promoted their boyish look, and soon early popular bras were sold to flatten and reduce the appearance of the bust.
[edit] Apparel
Main article: 1920s in fashion
Flapper dresses were straight and loose, leaving the arms bare and dropping the waistline to the hips. Silk or rayon stockings were held up by garters. Skirts rose to just below the knee by 1927, allowing flashes of knee to be seen when a girl danced or walked into a breeze, although the way they danced made any long loose skirt flap up to show their knees. Flappers powdered or put rouge on their knees to show them off when dancing.[citation needed] Popular dress styles included the Robe de style. High heels also came into vogue at the time, reaching 2 inches high.
[edit] End of the flapper era
Despite its popularity, the flapper lifestyle and look could not survive the Wall Street Crash and the following Great Depression. The high-spirited attitude and hedonism simply could not find a place amid the economic hardships of the 1930s. More specifically, this decade brought out a conservative reaction and a religious revival which set out to eradicate the liberal lifestyles and fashions of the 1920s. In many ways, however, the self-reliant flapper had allowed the modern woman to make herself an integral and lasting part of the Western World.
[edit] See also
* New Woman
* Cosmetics of the 1920s
* Modern girl
[edit] Notes
1. ^ a b Memories of Olive. assumption.edu.
2. ^ Long, Bruce (editor). Taylorology: A Continuing Exploration of the Life and Death of William Desmond Taylor. Arizona State University.
3. ^ Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. 26 Apr. 2007.
[edit] External links
* Flappers on SilentLadies.com
* The Jazz Age — Flapper Culture (discusses mainly Louise Brooks)
* Slang of the 1920s
* Flappers and fashion
* About.com history
* RolledStockings.com
2008년 11월 19일 수요일
_
요사이 나의 또래 아이들은
거대한 취업의 홍수속에 빠져들었다.
모두들 다시 바쁜 삶으로 돌아가기 위한 잠시의 휴식을 취하고 있다.
이게 바로 만스물셋, 또는 만 스물넷들의 운명이다.
졸업은 다시 어디엔가 소속되기까지의 불안한 공백을 만들어준 것이다.
나에 대해 생각하자.
공부를 하고싶다.
정말 재미있게.
남자를 만나
생기있어지고싶기도 하다.
풉.
거대한 취업의 홍수속에 빠져들었다.
모두들 다시 바쁜 삶으로 돌아가기 위한 잠시의 휴식을 취하고 있다.
이게 바로 만스물셋, 또는 만 스물넷들의 운명이다.
졸업은 다시 어디엔가 소속되기까지의 불안한 공백을 만들어준 것이다.
나에 대해 생각하자.
공부를 하고싶다.
정말 재미있게.
남자를 만나
생기있어지고싶기도 하다.
풉.
2008년 11월 10일 월요일
sidonie G colette
French novelist, belonging, in time, to the generation of such authors as Marcel Proust, Paul Valéry, André Gide, and Paul Claudel. Colette's career spanned from her early 20s to her mid-70s. Her main themes were joys and pains of love, and female sexuality in the male-dominated world. All her works are more or less autobiographical but Colette intentionally blurred the boundaries between fiction and fact. She wrote over 50 novels and scores of short stories.
"By means of an image we are often able to hold on to our lost belongings. But it is the desperateness of losing which picks the flowers of memory, binds the bouquet." (Mes Apprentissages, 1936)
Sidonie-Cabrielle Colette was born in the Burgundian village of Saint-Sauveur-en Puisaye. She was the daughter of a retired army captain, Jules-Joseph Colette. He had lost a leg in the Italian campaign and worked as a taxcollector with local political aspirations. Colette's mother, Adele Eugenie Sidonie Landoy, known as 'Sidonie' or 'Sido', was an unconventional character, a down-to-earth personality, devoted to her pets, books, and garden. Colette spent a happy childhood in rural surrounding, the scene of her many novels. At the age of 20 Colette married the writer and music critic Henri Gauthier-Villars, ('Monsieur Willy'); he was 15 years her senior. Colette's biographers' have labelled her first husband as a literary charlatan and degenerate.
Encouraged to start a career as a writer Colette published in short period four CLAUDINE novels (1900-03) under her husband's pen name Willy. According to a famous story, he locked Colette in her room until she had written enough pages. The series of four novels depicted improper adventures of a teenage girl. The series was a huge success and inspired all kinds of side products - a musical stage play, Claudine uniform, Claudine soap, cigars, and perfume. However, Colette's own cosmetics shop went bankrupt. Tired of her husbands unfaithfulness, Colette broke free of him in 1905. After divorce in 1906 Colette became a music-hall performer at such places as La Chatte Amoureuse and L'Oiseau de Nuit. On stage she bared one breast. A talk of the town, Colette once mimed copulation in a sketch, which a riot at the Moulin Rouge. Colette's protector and manager, a woman known as 'Missy', was the niece of Napoleon III, the Marquise de Belboeuf. Missy committed suicide in 1944 - ruined and desperate. Among Colette's other friends and probably lovers were Natalie Clifford Barney, an American lesbian woman, and the Italian writer Gabriele d'Annunzzio.
In 1912 Colette married Henri de Jouvenel des Ursins, the editor of the newspaper Le Matin, for which she wrote theatre chronicles and short stories. Their daughter, Colette de Jouvenel, later told that she was neglected by her parents - her mother never wanted a child. Colette's relationship with her young stepson, Bertrand de Jouvenel, was a source of gossips. In the novel CHÉRI (1920) she returned to the affair but depicted it from a point of view of a sexually unexperienced young man.
In 1910 Colette published LA VAGABONDE, a story about an actress who rejects a man she loves in order to live in an independent way. During World War I Colette converted her husband's St. Malo estate into a hospital for the wounded. After the war she was made a Chevalier of the Legion of Honour (1920).
The 1920s brought Colette enormous fame. She entered the world of modern poetry and paintings, which centered around Jean Cocteau, later her neighbor in Palais Royale. By 1927 Colette was frequently acclaimed as France's greatest woman writer. Especially Colette's insights into the behavior of women in love gained a sympathetic response from the reading public.
"'The great hat principle is that when you meet a woman on the street and her hat allows you to see whether she's a brunette, a blonde, or a redhead, the woman in question is not wearing a chic hat. There! ... Notice I'm not saying anything, I'll let you make up your own mind. Well?'" (from 'The Saleswoman' in Collected Stories)
Two central themes can be identified in Colette's mature works: the nature and the mother-daughter bond. LA MAISON DE CLAUDINE (1922) mythologized her childhood, LA NAISSANCE DU JOUR (1928) and SIDO (1929) celebrated Colette's carefree rural childhood, and the strength of her mother, whom the author rarely saw but wrote her many letters. The letters were destroyed by her brother after Sidonie died. In novels such as LA VAGABONDE (1911), LE BLÉ EN HERBE (1923), LA SECONDE (1929) and LA CHATTE Colette explored the struggle between independent identity and passionate love. Most of Colette's heroes and heroines, cocottes, bisexuals and gigolos, came from the margins of society. Chéri, which is one of her most famous book, tells the story of the end of a six year affair between an aging retired courtesan, Léa, and a pampered young man, Chéri. Turning conventions upside-down it is Chéri who wears silk pyjamas and Léa's pearls, he is the object of gaze. And in the end Léa demonstrates all the survival skills which Colette associated with femininity. The story continued in The Last of Chéri (1951), which contrasts Léa's strength and Chéri's fragility, leading to his suicide.
In the 1940s Colette portrayed her later years in L'ÉTOILE VESPER (1946) and LE FANAL BLEU (1949),which constantly questioned the relationship between autobiography and fiction. GIGI (1945) was published when the author was 72; the novel was made into a film in 1948. Vincente Minnelli directed a musicalized version of the story in 1958.
In the 1930s Colette was made a member of the Belgian Royal Academy. She was the first woman to be admitted to the prestigious Goncourt Academy. In 1953 she became a grand officer of the Legion of Honour. She won also many awards for her work. During the last 20 years of her life Colette suffered from a crippling form of arthritis, which had been set off by the fracture of a fibula in 1931. Her marriage with Henry de Jouvenal ended in 1924. From 1935 she was married to Maurice Goudaket, whose pearl business had been ruined during the Depression. Colette supported him because as a Jew he did not find work and had to hide when the Germans occupied France. Colette died on August 3, 1954 in Paris, where her fame was no less legandary than that of the writer Gertrude Stein(1874-1946) or the singer Edith Piaf (1915-1963). Colette was accorded a state funeral despite the refusal of Catholic rites on the grounds that she had been divorced. Her funeral was attended by thousands of mourners.
For further reading: Madame Colette by M. Crosland (1953); Prés de Colette (Close to Colette) by Maurice Goudeket (1955); Colette by E. Marks (1960); The Delights of Growing Old by Maurice Goudeket (1966); Colette - The Difficulty of Loving by M. Crosland (1973); Colette by R.D. Cotrell (1974); Colette by Y. Mitchell (1975); Colette Free and Fettered by M. Sarde (1980); Colette, ed. by E.M. Eisinger and M.W.McCarthy (1981); Colette by J.H. Stewart (1983); Colette by J. Richardson (1984); Colette by N. Ward Jouve (1987); Colette: A Life by H. Lottman (1990); Creating Colette: From Ingenue to Libertine 1873-1913 by Claude Francis, Fernande Gontier ( 1998); Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman (1999); Creating Colette: From Baroness to Woman of Letters, 1912-1954 by Claude Francis, Fernande Gontier (1999); Colette by Claude Pichois and Alain Brunet (1999); Colette by Julia Kristeva (2002) - OTHER WRITERS CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH PARIS: Victor Hugo (The Hunchback of Notre-Dame), Gaston Leroux (The Phantom of the Opera), Alexandre Dumas (père), Honoré de Balzac, Eugéne Sue, Charles Baudelaire, Guillaume Apollinaire, Émile Zola, Ernest Hemingway, Jean-Paul Sartre, etc.
Selected works:
CLAUDINE À L'ÉCOLE, 1900 - Claudine at School (trans. by J. Flanner / H. Mirande)
CLAUDINE À PARIS, 1901- Claudine in Paris
CLAUDINE EN MÉNAGE, 1902 - Claudine Married
CLAUDINE S'EN VA, 1903 - The Innocent Wife (trans. by F. Blossom)
SEPT DIALOGUES DE BÊTES, 1904 - Creatures Great and Small (trans. by Enid McLeod)
MINNE, 1904
LES ÉGAREMENTS DE MINNE, 1905
LA RETRAITE SENTIMENTALE, 1907 - The Retreat from Love (trans. by M. Crosland)
LES VRILLES DE VIGNE, 1908 - The Tendrils of the Vine
L'INGÉNUE LIBERTINE, 1909 - The Gentle Libertine (trans. by R.C. Benet)
LA VAGABONDE, 1910 - The Vagabond (trans. by J. Flanner / Enid McLeod)
L'ENTRAVE, 1913 - The Shackle
L'ENVERS DU MUSIC-HALL, 1913 - Music-Hall Sidelights - film 1935, dir. by Max Ophuls
LA PAIX CHEZ LES BÊTES, 1916 - Cats, Dogs, and I
LES HEURES LONGUES, 1917
LES ENFANTS DANS LES RUINES, 1917
DANS LA FOULE, 1918
MITSOU, 1919 - (trans. by J. Terry)
CHÉRI, 1920 - (trans. by Roger Senhouse) - suom.
CELLE QUI EN REVINET, 1921
LE VOYAGE ÉGOÏSTE, 1922
LA MAISON DE CLAUDINE, 1922 - My Mother's House (trans. by E. McLeod and U.V. Troubridge) - Claudinen koti
RÊVERIE DU NOUVEL AN, 1923
LE BLÉ EN HERBE,1923 - The Ripening Seed - Vilja oraalla - film 1956, dir. by Claude Autant-Lara
AVENTURES QUOTIDIENNES, 1924
LA FEMME CACHÉE, 1924
LE ENFANT ET LES SORTILÈGES, 1925 - The Boy and the Magic (trans. by C. Fry)
LA FIN DE CHÉRI,1926 - The Last of Chérie (trans. by E. McLeod / Roger Senhouse) - Cherin loppu
LA NAISSANCE DU JOUR, 1928 - A Lesson in Love 8(trans. by R.C. Benet)
LA SECONDE, 1929 - The Other One (trans. by R. Senhouse and E. Tait)
DOUZE DIALOGUES DE BÊTES, 1930 - Creatures Great and Small
SIDO, 1930 - (trans. by E. McLeod)
RENÉE LA VAGABONDE, 1931
CES PLAISIRS (first ed.) / LE PUR ET L'IMPUR, 1932 - The Pure and the Impure
LA CHATTE,1933 - The Cat
DUO, 1934 - (trans.)
SPLENDEUR DES PAPILLONS, 1936
MES APPRENTISSAGES, 1936 - My Apprenticeships (trans. by H. Beauclerk)
BELLA-VISTA, 1937
LE TOUTOUNIER, 1939
CHAMBRE D'HÔTEL, 1941 - Chance Acquaintances (trans. by P.L. Fermor)
LE PUR ET L'IMPUR, 1941 - The Pure and the Impure (trans. by E. Dally)
JOURNAL À REBOURS, 1941 - Looking Backwards (trans. by D. Le Vay)
MES CAHIERS, 1941
JULIE DE CARNEILHAN, 1941 - (trans. by P.L. Fermor)
DE MA FENÊTRE, 1942
LE KÉPI, 1943
PARIS DE MA FENÊTRE, 1944
GIGI, 1944 - (trans. by R. Senhouse) - film versions: 1948 dir. by Jacqueline Audry, starring Daniele Delorme, Gaby Morlay, Yvonne de Bray; musical version in 1958 dir. by Vincente Minnelli, starring Leslia Caron, Louis Jourdan, Maurice Chevalier - note: Leslie Caron's vocals were dubbed by Betty Wand
LA TENDRON, 1944
LA DAME DU PHOTOGRAPHE, 1944
CHATS, 1945
L'ÉTOILE VESPER, 1946 - The Evening Star (trans. by D. Le Vay)
BELLES SAISONS, 1947
POUR UN HERBIER, 1948 - For a Flower Album (trans. by R. Senhouse)
TRAIT POUR TRAIT, 1949
JOURNAL INTERMITTENT, 1949
LA FLEUR L'ÂGE, 1949
LE FANAL BLEU, 1949 - The Blue Lantern (trans. by R. Senhouse)
EN PAYS CONNU, 1950
CHÉRI, 1952 (play)
Six Novels, 1957
The Collected Stories of Colette, 1983 (ed. by Robert G. Phelps)
Collected Stories, 1983 (ed. by R. Phelps)
Flowers and Fruit, 1986 (edited by Robert Phelps)
"By means of an image we are often able to hold on to our lost belongings. But it is the desperateness of losing which picks the flowers of memory, binds the bouquet." (Mes Apprentissages, 1936)
Sidonie-Cabrielle Colette was born in the Burgundian village of Saint-Sauveur-en Puisaye. She was the daughter of a retired army captain, Jules-Joseph Colette. He had lost a leg in the Italian campaign and worked as a taxcollector with local political aspirations. Colette's mother, Adele Eugenie Sidonie Landoy, known as 'Sidonie' or 'Sido', was an unconventional character, a down-to-earth personality, devoted to her pets, books, and garden. Colette spent a happy childhood in rural surrounding, the scene of her many novels. At the age of 20 Colette married the writer and music critic Henri Gauthier-Villars, ('Monsieur Willy'); he was 15 years her senior. Colette's biographers' have labelled her first husband as a literary charlatan and degenerate.
Encouraged to start a career as a writer Colette published in short period four CLAUDINE novels (1900-03) under her husband's pen name Willy. According to a famous story, he locked Colette in her room until she had written enough pages. The series of four novels depicted improper adventures of a teenage girl. The series was a huge success and inspired all kinds of side products - a musical stage play, Claudine uniform, Claudine soap, cigars, and perfume. However, Colette's own cosmetics shop went bankrupt. Tired of her husbands unfaithfulness, Colette broke free of him in 1905. After divorce in 1906 Colette became a music-hall performer at such places as La Chatte Amoureuse and L'Oiseau de Nuit. On stage she bared one breast. A talk of the town, Colette once mimed copulation in a sketch, which a riot at the Moulin Rouge. Colette's protector and manager, a woman known as 'Missy', was the niece of Napoleon III, the Marquise de Belboeuf. Missy committed suicide in 1944 - ruined and desperate. Among Colette's other friends and probably lovers were Natalie Clifford Barney, an American lesbian woman, and the Italian writer Gabriele d'Annunzzio.
In 1912 Colette married Henri de Jouvenel des Ursins, the editor of the newspaper Le Matin, for which she wrote theatre chronicles and short stories. Their daughter, Colette de Jouvenel, later told that she was neglected by her parents - her mother never wanted a child. Colette's relationship with her young stepson, Bertrand de Jouvenel, was a source of gossips. In the novel CHÉRI (1920) she returned to the affair but depicted it from a point of view of a sexually unexperienced young man.
In 1910 Colette published LA VAGABONDE, a story about an actress who rejects a man she loves in order to live in an independent way. During World War I Colette converted her husband's St. Malo estate into a hospital for the wounded. After the war she was made a Chevalier of the Legion of Honour (1920).
The 1920s brought Colette enormous fame. She entered the world of modern poetry and paintings, which centered around Jean Cocteau, later her neighbor in Palais Royale. By 1927 Colette was frequently acclaimed as France's greatest woman writer. Especially Colette's insights into the behavior of women in love gained a sympathetic response from the reading public.
"'The great hat principle is that when you meet a woman on the street and her hat allows you to see whether she's a brunette, a blonde, or a redhead, the woman in question is not wearing a chic hat. There! ... Notice I'm not saying anything, I'll let you make up your own mind. Well?'" (from 'The Saleswoman' in Collected Stories)
Two central themes can be identified in Colette's mature works: the nature and the mother-daughter bond. LA MAISON DE CLAUDINE (1922) mythologized her childhood, LA NAISSANCE DU JOUR (1928) and SIDO (1929) celebrated Colette's carefree rural childhood, and the strength of her mother, whom the author rarely saw but wrote her many letters. The letters were destroyed by her brother after Sidonie died. In novels such as LA VAGABONDE (1911), LE BLÉ EN HERBE (1923), LA SECONDE (1929) and LA CHATTE Colette explored the struggle between independent identity and passionate love. Most of Colette's heroes and heroines, cocottes, bisexuals and gigolos, came from the margins of society. Chéri, which is one of her most famous book, tells the story of the end of a six year affair between an aging retired courtesan, Léa, and a pampered young man, Chéri. Turning conventions upside-down it is Chéri who wears silk pyjamas and Léa's pearls, he is the object of gaze. And in the end Léa demonstrates all the survival skills which Colette associated with femininity. The story continued in The Last of Chéri (1951), which contrasts Léa's strength and Chéri's fragility, leading to his suicide.
In the 1940s Colette portrayed her later years in L'ÉTOILE VESPER (1946) and LE FANAL BLEU (1949),which constantly questioned the relationship between autobiography and fiction. GIGI (1945) was published when the author was 72; the novel was made into a film in 1948. Vincente Minnelli directed a musicalized version of the story in 1958.
In the 1930s Colette was made a member of the Belgian Royal Academy. She was the first woman to be admitted to the prestigious Goncourt Academy. In 1953 she became a grand officer of the Legion of Honour. She won also many awards for her work. During the last 20 years of her life Colette suffered from a crippling form of arthritis, which had been set off by the fracture of a fibula in 1931. Her marriage with Henry de Jouvenal ended in 1924. From 1935 she was married to Maurice Goudaket, whose pearl business had been ruined during the Depression. Colette supported him because as a Jew he did not find work and had to hide when the Germans occupied France. Colette died on August 3, 1954 in Paris, where her fame was no less legandary than that of the writer Gertrude Stein(1874-1946) or the singer Edith Piaf (1915-1963). Colette was accorded a state funeral despite the refusal of Catholic rites on the grounds that she had been divorced. Her funeral was attended by thousands of mourners.
For further reading: Madame Colette by M. Crosland (1953); Prés de Colette (Close to Colette) by Maurice Goudeket (1955); Colette by E. Marks (1960); The Delights of Growing Old by Maurice Goudeket (1966); Colette - The Difficulty of Loving by M. Crosland (1973); Colette by R.D. Cotrell (1974); Colette by Y. Mitchell (1975); Colette Free and Fettered by M. Sarde (1980); Colette, ed. by E.M. Eisinger and M.W.McCarthy (1981); Colette by J.H. Stewart (1983); Colette by J. Richardson (1984); Colette by N. Ward Jouve (1987); Colette: A Life by H. Lottman (1990); Creating Colette: From Ingenue to Libertine 1873-1913 by Claude Francis, Fernande Gontier ( 1998); Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman (1999); Creating Colette: From Baroness to Woman of Letters, 1912-1954 by Claude Francis, Fernande Gontier (1999); Colette by Claude Pichois and Alain Brunet (1999); Colette by Julia Kristeva (2002) - OTHER WRITERS CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH PARIS: Victor Hugo (The Hunchback of Notre-Dame), Gaston Leroux (The Phantom of the Opera), Alexandre Dumas (père), Honoré de Balzac, Eugéne Sue, Charles Baudelaire, Guillaume Apollinaire, Émile Zola, Ernest Hemingway, Jean-Paul Sartre, etc.
Selected works:
CLAUDINE À L'ÉCOLE, 1900 - Claudine at School (trans. by J. Flanner / H. Mirande)
CLAUDINE À PARIS, 1901- Claudine in Paris
CLAUDINE EN MÉNAGE, 1902 - Claudine Married
CLAUDINE S'EN VA, 1903 - The Innocent Wife (trans. by F. Blossom)
SEPT DIALOGUES DE BÊTES, 1904 - Creatures Great and Small (trans. by Enid McLeod)
MINNE, 1904
LES ÉGAREMENTS DE MINNE, 1905
LA RETRAITE SENTIMENTALE, 1907 - The Retreat from Love (trans. by M. Crosland)
LES VRILLES DE VIGNE, 1908 - The Tendrils of the Vine
L'INGÉNUE LIBERTINE, 1909 - The Gentle Libertine (trans. by R.C. Benet)
LA VAGABONDE, 1910 - The Vagabond (trans. by J. Flanner / Enid McLeod)
L'ENTRAVE, 1913 - The Shackle
L'ENVERS DU MUSIC-HALL, 1913 - Music-Hall Sidelights - film 1935, dir. by Max Ophuls
LA PAIX CHEZ LES BÊTES, 1916 - Cats, Dogs, and I
LES HEURES LONGUES, 1917
LES ENFANTS DANS LES RUINES, 1917
DANS LA FOULE, 1918
MITSOU, 1919 - (trans. by J. Terry)
CHÉRI, 1920 - (trans. by Roger Senhouse) - suom.
CELLE QUI EN REVINET, 1921
LE VOYAGE ÉGOÏSTE, 1922
LA MAISON DE CLAUDINE, 1922 - My Mother's House (trans. by E. McLeod and U.V. Troubridge) - Claudinen koti
RÊVERIE DU NOUVEL AN, 1923
LE BLÉ EN HERBE,1923 - The Ripening Seed - Vilja oraalla - film 1956, dir. by Claude Autant-Lara
AVENTURES QUOTIDIENNES, 1924
LA FEMME CACHÉE, 1924
LE ENFANT ET LES SORTILÈGES, 1925 - The Boy and the Magic (trans. by C. Fry)
LA FIN DE CHÉRI,1926 - The Last of Chérie (trans. by E. McLeod / Roger Senhouse) - Cherin loppu
LA NAISSANCE DU JOUR, 1928 - A Lesson in Love 8(trans. by R.C. Benet)
LA SECONDE, 1929 - The Other One (trans. by R. Senhouse and E. Tait)
DOUZE DIALOGUES DE BÊTES, 1930 - Creatures Great and Small
SIDO, 1930 - (trans. by E. McLeod)
RENÉE LA VAGABONDE, 1931
CES PLAISIRS (first ed.) / LE PUR ET L'IMPUR, 1932 - The Pure and the Impure
LA CHATTE,1933 - The Cat
DUO, 1934 - (trans.)
SPLENDEUR DES PAPILLONS, 1936
MES APPRENTISSAGES, 1936 - My Apprenticeships (trans. by H. Beauclerk)
BELLA-VISTA, 1937
LE TOUTOUNIER, 1939
CHAMBRE D'HÔTEL, 1941 - Chance Acquaintances (trans. by P.L. Fermor)
LE PUR ET L'IMPUR, 1941 - The Pure and the Impure (trans. by E. Dally)
JOURNAL À REBOURS, 1941 - Looking Backwards (trans. by D. Le Vay)
MES CAHIERS, 1941
JULIE DE CARNEILHAN, 1941 - (trans. by P.L. Fermor)
DE MA FENÊTRE, 1942
LE KÉPI, 1943
PARIS DE MA FENÊTRE, 1944
GIGI, 1944 - (trans. by R. Senhouse) - film versions: 1948 dir. by Jacqueline Audry, starring Daniele Delorme, Gaby Morlay, Yvonne de Bray; musical version in 1958 dir. by Vincente Minnelli, starring Leslia Caron, Louis Jourdan, Maurice Chevalier - note: Leslie Caron's vocals were dubbed by Betty Wand
LA TENDRON, 1944
LA DAME DU PHOTOGRAPHE, 1944
CHATS, 1945
L'ÉTOILE VESPER, 1946 - The Evening Star (trans. by D. Le Vay)
BELLES SAISONS, 1947
POUR UN HERBIER, 1948 - For a Flower Album (trans. by R. Senhouse)
TRAIT POUR TRAIT, 1949
JOURNAL INTERMITTENT, 1949
LA FLEUR L'ÂGE, 1949
LE FANAL BLEU, 1949 - The Blue Lantern (trans. by R. Senhouse)
EN PAYS CONNU, 1950
CHÉRI, 1952 (play)
Six Novels, 1957
The Collected Stories of Colette, 1983 (ed. by Robert G. Phelps)
Collected Stories, 1983 (ed. by R. Phelps)
Flowers and Fruit, 1986 (edited by Robert Phelps)
2008년 10월 27일 월요일
apply와 밤에 혼자임.
이 두가지의 사이로
그림과 함께.
평화로운 시간이다.
밤은 정말 평화로운 시간이다.
나의 이 부모님 의식증을 잠재우는. 집이 비로소 집이 되는 시간이다.
유진오빠가 mom. please don`t stare at me.라고 할때같은 심정이 계속되는건
(내가 고마워할줄 모르는 사람이어서 그렇기도 하겠지만)
숨막힐 노릇이다.
apply하기전에 마음을 가다듬자.
나는 정말 간다.
나는 곧 간다.
시간도 얼마 없고.
사실상 아쉬워할 대단한 관계라고 하기엔 우스운?
인간관계뿐일 수도 있겠다.(내가 우스운 존재이기 때문에?)
그리고 이런 글로벌라이즈 된 세상에서 뭐가 헤어짐이냐를 정의하기도 어렵다.
어차피 연락할것이며(나의 연락의 방식을 그들이 이해해주길 바란다.)
부유한 나의 친구들이 나의 future거주지로 방문하지 않으리란 법도 없다.
꼭 날 보러오는건 아닐 수도 있지만.(다행이기도 하다)
완전히 마음을 비워내어 필요이상으로 가라앉은. 그리고 지나치게 피곤한
상태. 빨리 가야겠단 생각이 든다.
그러므로 빨리 apply해야겠다.
그녀는 사실 나랑 닮은 구석이 있는것 같다.
그녀는 물론 나로서는 상상도 못할 어떤 면을 가지고 있기도 하다.
어쨌든. 좋은 감정을 가질 수 없는 사람으로부터 나와 비슷한 모습을
발견하는 것은 그다지 기분좋은 일이 아니다.
나의 이 소극적인 미움이 나에게 돌아오는 방식은
사실 좀 견디기가 힘들다.
최소한으로 미워하는데도
그게 나에게 돌아오는 방식은 가히 놀랍고
대단하다.
분명 그리 대단히 미워하지 않는데 말이다.
누군가를 미워한다는 것은 정말 힘든일이다. 어렵고 고통스러운 일이다.
이 두가지의 사이로
그림과 함께.
평화로운 시간이다.
밤은 정말 평화로운 시간이다.
나의 이 부모님 의식증을 잠재우는. 집이 비로소 집이 되는 시간이다.
유진오빠가 mom. please don`t stare at me.라고 할때같은 심정이 계속되는건
(내가 고마워할줄 모르는 사람이어서 그렇기도 하겠지만)
숨막힐 노릇이다.
apply하기전에 마음을 가다듬자.
나는 정말 간다.
나는 곧 간다.
시간도 얼마 없고.
사실상 아쉬워할 대단한 관계라고 하기엔 우스운?
인간관계뿐일 수도 있겠다.(내가 우스운 존재이기 때문에?)
그리고 이런 글로벌라이즈 된 세상에서 뭐가 헤어짐이냐를 정의하기도 어렵다.
어차피 연락할것이며(나의 연락의 방식을 그들이 이해해주길 바란다.)
부유한 나의 친구들이 나의 future거주지로 방문하지 않으리란 법도 없다.
꼭 날 보러오는건 아닐 수도 있지만.(다행이기도 하다)
완전히 마음을 비워내어 필요이상으로 가라앉은. 그리고 지나치게 피곤한
상태. 빨리 가야겠단 생각이 든다.
그러므로 빨리 apply해야겠다.
그녀는 사실 나랑 닮은 구석이 있는것 같다.
그녀는 물론 나로서는 상상도 못할 어떤 면을 가지고 있기도 하다.
어쨌든. 좋은 감정을 가질 수 없는 사람으로부터 나와 비슷한 모습을
발견하는 것은 그다지 기분좋은 일이 아니다.
나의 이 소극적인 미움이 나에게 돌아오는 방식은
사실 좀 견디기가 힘들다.
최소한으로 미워하는데도
그게 나에게 돌아오는 방식은 가히 놀랍고
대단하다.
분명 그리 대단히 미워하지 않는데 말이다.
누군가를 미워한다는 것은 정말 힘든일이다. 어렵고 고통스러운 일이다.
2008년 10월 26일 일요일
_
힘들었다 ㅎ
9시간전에 랜딩하면서부터
기진맥진해 있었다.
you have so much to be thankful for.
맞다 맞아. 정말 장난아니게 맞다.
전환기여서 그런지
토할것 같다.
빨리 가야겠다.(빨리 전환기를 끝내버려야겠다,)
사람들은 나에게 잘해준다. 물론 좋은사람들이어서 그렇다.
아무도 안도와줄거란 말을 하면서 잘 해준다.
알겠습니다 알겠어요
당신들식으로.
나는 서서히 준비되어가고있는것 같다. 나도 모르는 사이.
9시간전에 랜딩하면서부터
기진맥진해 있었다.
you have so much to be thankful for.
맞다 맞아. 정말 장난아니게 맞다.
전환기여서 그런지
토할것 같다.
빨리 가야겠다.(빨리 전환기를 끝내버려야겠다,)
사람들은 나에게 잘해준다. 물론 좋은사람들이어서 그렇다.
아무도 안도와줄거란 말을 하면서 잘 해준다.
알겠습니다 알겠어요
당신들식으로.
나는 서서히 준비되어가고있는것 같다. 나도 모르는 사이.
2008년 10월 22일 수요일
_
토하겠다.
아무리 봐도. 토할것 같은 사람들이다.
좋건 싫건 토할것 같고
좋아서, 싫어서 다 힘들다.
그래서 점점 너덜너덜해지다가 이제 죽인지 밥인지 모르겠다.
그사람들이 쉽게 모녀지간은 애증의 관계라고 말하는 것은
말로써 뭔가 쉽사리 잘 표현하고 있다.
그게 더 분하다.
정말 상대할 필요가 없는 사람에게는 감정을 덜어내버리고.
서운한 사람에게는 욕을.
좋은 사람은 바라본다.
아무리 봐도. 토할것 같은 사람들이다.
좋건 싫건 토할것 같고
좋아서, 싫어서 다 힘들다.
그래서 점점 너덜너덜해지다가 이제 죽인지 밥인지 모르겠다.
그사람들이 쉽게 모녀지간은 애증의 관계라고 말하는 것은
말로써 뭔가 쉽사리 잘 표현하고 있다.
그게 더 분하다.
정말 상대할 필요가 없는 사람에게는 감정을 덜어내버리고.
서운한 사람에게는 욕을.
좋은 사람은 바라본다.
2008년 10월 20일 월요일
2008년 5월 22일 목요일
/
can`t get out of the fear that i`m gonna live my entire life this way.
not knowing what i am what i`m doing why i`m being.
why people struggle so hard, i will never know i guess
whats the big deal of living?
why do you try so hard to continue living?
doesn`t life itself make you tired
not knowing what i am what i`m doing why i`m being.
why people struggle so hard, i will never know i guess
whats the big deal of living?
why do you try so hard to continue living?
doesn`t life itself make you tired
2008년 3월 30일 일요일
V FESTIVAL
V FESTIVAL 2008 LINE UP
HYLANDS PARK SATURDAY 16TH AUGUST
WESTON PARK SUNDAY 17TH AUGUST
V STAGE - MUSE - STEREOPHONICS - THE KOOKS - MAXIMO PARK - ALANIS MORISSETTE - THE FUTUREHEADS
CHANNEL 4 STAGE - THE PRODIGY - THE PIGEON DETECTIVES - NEWTON FAULKNER - THE HOOSIERS - DUFFY - AMY MACDONALD - SHED SEVEN
JJB ARENA - IAN BROWN - THE POGUES - JAMIE T - THE TWANG - SUGABABES - DAVID JORDAN
WESTON PARK SATURDAY 16TH AUGUST
HYLANDS PARK SUNDAY 17TH AUGUST
V STAGE - THE VERVE - KINGS OF LEON - AMY WINEHOUSE - LENNY KRAVITZ - THE FEELING - GIRLS ALOUD - SQUEEZE
CHANNEL 4 STAGE - KAISER CHIEFS - THE ZUTONS - THE VIEW - REVEREND AND THE MAKERS - SCOUTING FOR GIRLS - ONE REPUBLIC - THE COURTEENERS - THE RIFLES
JJB ARENA - THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS - THE CHARLATANS - HOT CHIP - TRAVIS - ROBYN
OVER 60 MORE ARTISTS TO BE ANNOUNCED ACROSS 5 STAGES
HYLANDS PARK SATURDAY 16TH AUGUST
WESTON PARK SUNDAY 17TH AUGUST
V STAGE - MUSE - STEREOPHONICS - THE KOOKS - MAXIMO PARK - ALANIS MORISSETTE - THE FUTUREHEADS
CHANNEL 4 STAGE - THE PRODIGY - THE PIGEON DETECTIVES - NEWTON FAULKNER - THE HOOSIERS - DUFFY - AMY MACDONALD - SHED SEVEN
JJB ARENA - IAN BROWN - THE POGUES - JAMIE T - THE TWANG - SUGABABES - DAVID JORDAN
WESTON PARK SATURDAY 16TH AUGUST
HYLANDS PARK SUNDAY 17TH AUGUST
V STAGE - THE VERVE - KINGS OF LEON - AMY WINEHOUSE - LENNY KRAVITZ - THE FEELING - GIRLS ALOUD - SQUEEZE
CHANNEL 4 STAGE - KAISER CHIEFS - THE ZUTONS - THE VIEW - REVEREND AND THE MAKERS - SCOUTING FOR GIRLS - ONE REPUBLIC - THE COURTEENERS - THE RIFLES
JJB ARENA - THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS - THE CHARLATANS - HOT CHIP - TRAVIS - ROBYN
OVER 60 MORE ARTISTS TO BE ANNOUNCED ACROSS 5 STAGES
2008년 3월 24일 월요일
그동안.
잠시동안.
정신을 차리기 위해
나름대로 커다랗게 그리고 나름대로 용감하기도 하게
그동안 쌓아온 피같은 일부를 버렸다.
사람들은 후회하지 않냐
후회하지 않으면 된거다
하지만
사실 저런 질문을 받으면 드는 생각은
후회하느냐 아니냐 할만큼 여유있는 결정이 아니었다는 것이다.
필사적으로 벗어나야 겠구나 .
이곳에 내가 억지라는 기분으로 가득찬채로
그래도 나름대로 성실하게
뭔가 하고 있는 이유는
도저히 그 이유로 버틸수 없는 몇가지뿐이다.
그러니까. 선택이 아니었고
할수있는 만큼 다 하고 이제는 내가 할 수 있는 모든것이
끝났다는 것을 알게된 것 뿐이다.
이제야 알게된것이
난 그런 사람이 아니라는 것이고
사람들은 거의 아무도 여지것 내가 살아온 방식대로 살진 않는다는 것이다.
운 좋게도 이런 문제에 부딛히지 않는 사람들이야
삶의 방식을 논할 필요없는 인생을 살게 될 수도 있겠지만
난 아닌것이다.
예민하면서도 자신에게 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 대해서는 둔하고 소심한 성격탓에
몇번씩 이런일을 겪으면서도
아직도 나는 나를 모른다.
그나마 이제는 사람들이 나를 알아주는것 같아
정신을 차릴 수 있는것 같다.
솔직히
정말 항상 사춘기스러운 이 마음을 사람들에게 보여주기 싫었고
강하고 싶었고
강하게 보이려 노력했지만
난 그런 사람이 아니다
이런 물렁물렁하다못해
국물이 되어가는 정신으로.
내가 할 일을 하는것
그렇게 살지 않는것.
몇년간 쌓아온 습관을 버리는 것.
나를 용서하는것
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
그게 다 되면
나를 사랑하는 것.
남보다 나를 더 많이 사랑하는것.
그리고 천천히 취하는 것.
취해있는것.
잠시동안.
정신을 차리기 위해
나름대로 커다랗게 그리고 나름대로 용감하기도 하게
그동안 쌓아온 피같은 일부를 버렸다.
사람들은 후회하지 않냐
후회하지 않으면 된거다
하지만
사실 저런 질문을 받으면 드는 생각은
후회하느냐 아니냐 할만큼 여유있는 결정이 아니었다는 것이다.
필사적으로 벗어나야 겠구나 .
이곳에 내가 억지라는 기분으로 가득찬채로
그래도 나름대로 성실하게
뭔가 하고 있는 이유는
도저히 그 이유로 버틸수 없는 몇가지뿐이다.
그러니까. 선택이 아니었고
할수있는 만큼 다 하고 이제는 내가 할 수 있는 모든것이
끝났다는 것을 알게된 것 뿐이다.
이제야 알게된것이
난 그런 사람이 아니라는 것이고
사람들은 거의 아무도 여지것 내가 살아온 방식대로 살진 않는다는 것이다.
운 좋게도 이런 문제에 부딛히지 않는 사람들이야
삶의 방식을 논할 필요없는 인생을 살게 될 수도 있겠지만
난 아닌것이다.
예민하면서도 자신에게 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 대해서는 둔하고 소심한 성격탓에
몇번씩 이런일을 겪으면서도
아직도 나는 나를 모른다.
그나마 이제는 사람들이 나를 알아주는것 같아
정신을 차릴 수 있는것 같다.
솔직히
정말 항상 사춘기스러운 이 마음을 사람들에게 보여주기 싫었고
강하고 싶었고
강하게 보이려 노력했지만
난 그런 사람이 아니다
이런 물렁물렁하다못해
국물이 되어가는 정신으로.
내가 할 일을 하는것
그렇게 살지 않는것.
몇년간 쌓아온 습관을 버리는 것.
나를 용서하는것
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
나를 용서하는 것.
그게 다 되면
나를 사랑하는 것.
남보다 나를 더 많이 사랑하는것.
그리고 천천히 취하는 것.
취해있는것.
2008년 1월 9일 수요일
2008년 1월 2일 수요일
취하게 하라. 언제나 너희는 취해 있어야 한다.
모든 것은 거기에 있다. 그것이 유일한 문제이다.
그대의 어깨를 짓누르고 그대를 지상으로 누르고 있는
저 시간이라는 끔직한 짐을 느끼지 않기 위해서
그대는 여지 없이 취해야 한다.
그러나 무엇에?
술로 또는 시로, 또는 당신의 미덕으로, 그건 좋을대로 하시오.
그러나 하여간 취하여야 한다.
그리고 때때로, 둥전의 섬돌 위에서, 도랑가는 푸른 풀 위에서,
그대의 밤의 침울한 고독 속에서, 그대가 잠을 깨고, 취기가 벌써 줄어지고 사라져 가거들랑,
물어보라.
바람에, 물결에, 별에, 새에, 세계에,
사라져가는 모든 것에, 울부짖는 모든 것에, 흘러가는 모든것에,
노래하는 모든거에, 말하는 모든 것에 물어보라.
지금은 몇시인가를.
그러면 바람도, 물결도, 별도, 새도, 시계도, 그대에게 대답하리.
지금은 취할 시간. 시간의 학대받는 노예가 되지 않기 위하여
끊임없이 취하여라!
술로 또는 시로, 또는 당신의 미덕으로,
그건 좋을대로 하시오.
-보들레르
모든 것은 거기에 있다. 그것이 유일한 문제이다.
그대의 어깨를 짓누르고 그대를 지상으로 누르고 있는
저 시간이라는 끔직한 짐을 느끼지 않기 위해서
그대는 여지 없이 취해야 한다.
그러나 무엇에?
술로 또는 시로, 또는 당신의 미덕으로, 그건 좋을대로 하시오.
그러나 하여간 취하여야 한다.
그리고 때때로, 둥전의 섬돌 위에서, 도랑가는 푸른 풀 위에서,
그대의 밤의 침울한 고독 속에서, 그대가 잠을 깨고, 취기가 벌써 줄어지고 사라져 가거들랑,
물어보라.
바람에, 물결에, 별에, 새에, 세계에,
사라져가는 모든 것에, 울부짖는 모든 것에, 흘러가는 모든것에,
노래하는 모든거에, 말하는 모든 것에 물어보라.
지금은 몇시인가를.
그러면 바람도, 물결도, 별도, 새도, 시계도, 그대에게 대답하리.
지금은 취할 시간. 시간의 학대받는 노예가 되지 않기 위하여
끊임없이 취하여라!
술로 또는 시로, 또는 당신의 미덕으로,
그건 좋을대로 하시오.
-보들레르
2008년 1월 1일 화요일
예를 들어 그가 블랙스테이블에서 그토록 긴 사색 끝에 얻은 조그만 철학도 막상 밀드레드가 나타나 그녀에세 미쳐 있을 때에는 아무런 도움도 돼주지 못했던 것이다. 인생의 참된 지침으로서 이성이 그렇게 도움이 된다고는 도저히 생각할 수 없었다. 인생은 어디까지나 인생이었다. 그 무렵 그는 이제 그의 전신을 지배하던 그 감정의 난폭함, 마치 밧줄로 대지에 묶이기라도 한 듯 아무런 저항도 할 수 없었던 그 무력함, 그러한 경험들을 생생하게 회상하고 있었다. 현명한 기혜는 얼마든지 책에서 읽을 수 있었다. 그러나 결국 판단의 근거가 된 것은 그 자신의 직접적 경험 뿐이었다. 혹시 자기만이 특별한가, 그것까지는 확실하지 않았다. 예를 들어 어떤 행위에 대해 옳고 그름의 판단 하나를 놓고 보더라도 그것을 하면 어떤 이득이 생기고 하지 않으면 어떤 손해가 있는지 그런 계산은 전혀 하지 않았다. 다만 전존재(全存在)가 도저히 저항할 수 없는 힘으로 솟아 있을 뿐이었다. 결코 자신의 일부분으로 행동한 것이 아니라 전존재가 움직이고 있었던 것이다. 그를 지배하고 있던 힘은 아무리 생각해도 이성과는 아무 관계가 없는 것이었다. 이성이 한 역할이라고는 다만 그의 온몸과 마음이 욕구하고 있는 것을 어떻게 손에 넣는가 하는 방법을 제시해 주었을 뿐이었다. 마칼리스터는 말을 끄집어냈다.
/그건 너의 일체의 행위가 만인의 행위에 대해 보편적 법칙이 되도록 하라, 그런것이지./
/그런데, 그게 나한텐 완전한 넌센스로밖에 생각되지 않습니다./
/무척 대담한 친군데. 적어도 임마누엘 칸트의 말에 그런 식의 말을 하다니./
/다른 사람이 한 말을 다시 존경한다는 것은 더 바보같은 얘기가 아닙니까. 어처구니 없게도 존경이 너무 지나칩니다. 칸트의 사상은 그것이 진리이니까 그렇게 생각한 것이 아닙니다. 그것보다는 오히려 그가 칸트이기 때문에 그렇게 생각했다, 하는 것이 더 타당하지 않을까요?/
/과연, 그렇다면 지상명령에 대한 자네의 이견이란 대체 어떤 것인가?/
(그의 기세로는 제국의 운명이라도 걸려 있는 듯한 말투였다.)
/즉, 이런 얘기겠죠. 사람은 누구나 의지의 힘으로 자신의 행동을 선택하는 것이다. 다시 말해서 이성이야말로 가장 확실한 난내자라는 것이죠. 그런데 이성의 명령이 어째서 정념의 명령보다 위라고 단정할 수 있죠? 두개는 각각 다른 겁니다. 내 얘리는 이것뿐이에요./
/어쩐지 자네는 정념의 노예로 만족하고 있는 것 같구먼./
/노예일지도 모르죠. 하지만 그것은 도저히 어쩔 수 없기 때문이지 결코 만족해서가 아닙니다./
필립은 웃었지만, 말하면서 문득 밀드레드를 따라 헤맬 때의 그 미친듯한 감정을 되새겨 보았다. 그때 그는 그것에 대해 얼마나 세차게 반항했던가, 또 자리의 비열함을 얼마나 통탄했던가.
(그러나 고맙게도 그런것은 완전히 잃어버렸다.)그는 혼자 생각했다.
그러나 그렇게 말을 하면서도, 과연 지금 한 말에 거짓이 없었는가 하는 점에는 그는 자신이 없었다. 왜냐하면 감정에 사로잡혀 있을 때는 그는 이상할 정도로 활기에 차 있었고 그의 정신은 놀랄 만큼 당했기 때문이다. 지금보다 훨씬 발랄했고, 다만 살아 있다는 것만으로도 흥분을 느꼈고, 왕성한 영혼의 연소가 있었다. 그것과 비교해보면 지금의 생활은 어딘가 약간 저조한 데가 있었다. 비록 비참한 고통을 맛보았다 할지라도 그 대신 압도당할 만큼 강렬한 생명감이라는 보상이 있었다.
그러나 필립의 이 실언은 마침내 자유의지론으로까지 발전했고 학식이 풍부한 마칼리스터는 변증법에는 꽤 조예가 깊은 듯 계속 반론을 폈다. 필립은 어느덧 자기 모순이라는 함정에 빠지고 말았다. 빠져나갈 수 없는 궁지에 몰렸다고 생각하자 그는 교묘한 논리로 발을 빼고 다음엔 권위로 쳐 부셨다.
/난 다른사람에 대새건 모르겠어요. 하지만, 나 자신의 경험으로는 나 역시 자유의지의 미망은 몹시 강해서 그것으로부터 쉽게 도망칠 수가 없다는 것은 압니다. 그러나 그것도 역시 미망에 지나지 않는 다고 생각합니다. 다만 이 자유의지의 미망이라는 것이 나에게는 사실상 행동의 가장 강한 동기가 돼주더군요. 일체의 가장 강한 동기가 될 수 있는 무엇을 할 때까지는 내게도 선택능력이란 것이 있어보이고, 사실 내 행동을 좌주하다시피 하지요. 그러나 끝난 뒤에 생각해보면, 그것은 영겁의 엣날부터 정해져 있었던 것 같은 느끼미 들어요./
/그러니 결론은?/
/말하자면 후회하는 것은 무의미하다, 그것뿐입니다. 밀크를 쏟아 버리고 울어 봤자 무슨 소용이 있느냐 하는 말은, 우주의 모든 힘이란 힘이 모두 달려들어 밀크를 쏟아 버리게 한 것나 마찬가지라는 얘깁니다./
-모옴 인간의 굴레중-
/그건 너의 일체의 행위가 만인의 행위에 대해 보편적 법칙이 되도록 하라, 그런것이지./
/그런데, 그게 나한텐 완전한 넌센스로밖에 생각되지 않습니다./
/무척 대담한 친군데. 적어도 임마누엘 칸트의 말에 그런 식의 말을 하다니./
/다른 사람이 한 말을 다시 존경한다는 것은 더 바보같은 얘기가 아닙니까. 어처구니 없게도 존경이 너무 지나칩니다. 칸트의 사상은 그것이 진리이니까 그렇게 생각한 것이 아닙니다. 그것보다는 오히려 그가 칸트이기 때문에 그렇게 생각했다, 하는 것이 더 타당하지 않을까요?/
/과연, 그렇다면 지상명령에 대한 자네의 이견이란 대체 어떤 것인가?/
(그의 기세로는 제국의 운명이라도 걸려 있는 듯한 말투였다.)
/즉, 이런 얘기겠죠. 사람은 누구나 의지의 힘으로 자신의 행동을 선택하는 것이다. 다시 말해서 이성이야말로 가장 확실한 난내자라는 것이죠. 그런데 이성의 명령이 어째서 정념의 명령보다 위라고 단정할 수 있죠? 두개는 각각 다른 겁니다. 내 얘리는 이것뿐이에요./
/어쩐지 자네는 정념의 노예로 만족하고 있는 것 같구먼./
/노예일지도 모르죠. 하지만 그것은 도저히 어쩔 수 없기 때문이지 결코 만족해서가 아닙니다./
필립은 웃었지만, 말하면서 문득 밀드레드를 따라 헤맬 때의 그 미친듯한 감정을 되새겨 보았다. 그때 그는 그것에 대해 얼마나 세차게 반항했던가, 또 자리의 비열함을 얼마나 통탄했던가.
(그러나 고맙게도 그런것은 완전히 잃어버렸다.)그는 혼자 생각했다.
그러나 그렇게 말을 하면서도, 과연 지금 한 말에 거짓이 없었는가 하는 점에는 그는 자신이 없었다. 왜냐하면 감정에 사로잡혀 있을 때는 그는 이상할 정도로 활기에 차 있었고 그의 정신은 놀랄 만큼 당했기 때문이다. 지금보다 훨씬 발랄했고, 다만 살아 있다는 것만으로도 흥분을 느꼈고, 왕성한 영혼의 연소가 있었다. 그것과 비교해보면 지금의 생활은 어딘가 약간 저조한 데가 있었다. 비록 비참한 고통을 맛보았다 할지라도 그 대신 압도당할 만큼 강렬한 생명감이라는 보상이 있었다.
그러나 필립의 이 실언은 마침내 자유의지론으로까지 발전했고 학식이 풍부한 마칼리스터는 변증법에는 꽤 조예가 깊은 듯 계속 반론을 폈다. 필립은 어느덧 자기 모순이라는 함정에 빠지고 말았다. 빠져나갈 수 없는 궁지에 몰렸다고 생각하자 그는 교묘한 논리로 발을 빼고 다음엔 권위로 쳐 부셨다.
/난 다른사람에 대새건 모르겠어요. 하지만, 나 자신의 경험으로는 나 역시 자유의지의 미망은 몹시 강해서 그것으로부터 쉽게 도망칠 수가 없다는 것은 압니다. 그러나 그것도 역시 미망에 지나지 않는 다고 생각합니다. 다만 이 자유의지의 미망이라는 것이 나에게는 사실상 행동의 가장 강한 동기가 돼주더군요. 일체의 가장 강한 동기가 될 수 있는 무엇을 할 때까지는 내게도 선택능력이란 것이 있어보이고, 사실 내 행동을 좌주하다시피 하지요. 그러나 끝난 뒤에 생각해보면, 그것은 영겁의 엣날부터 정해져 있었던 것 같은 느끼미 들어요./
/그러니 결론은?/
/말하자면 후회하는 것은 무의미하다, 그것뿐입니다. 밀크를 쏟아 버리고 울어 봤자 무슨 소용이 있느냐 하는 말은, 우주의 모든 힘이란 힘이 모두 달려들어 밀크를 쏟아 버리게 한 것나 마찬가지라는 얘깁니다./
-모옴 인간의 굴레중-
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